


Ice and Comic Books

by Starkidlabs



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Kinda really sad, Poor Cisco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-21 00:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9524072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starkidlabs/pseuds/Starkidlabs
Summary: Julian comes to Star Labs looking for a solution to a problem. Cisco then recollects the pain and suffering he has already endured and will endure if he can't help the person that matters the most to him.A fic centred around Ciscos thoughts and feelings of the past few years, Caitlin Snow and Comic books.The missing scene between Cisco and Julian presenting Caitlin the necklace.





	

Comic books had always been a source of comfort for cisco, on the dark nights where his parents would argue for hours until a door slammed shut and a car sped over the gravel of the drive, where he would wonder if his father or mother would come back at all. On the days where the other kids laughed and pointed whilst they pushed him face first into sticky mud of the football field. And on the days where he would come home only for his brother to tug on his hair, call him names knowing he would get nothing but praise for it. When the tears would start to slowly stream down his face He would curl up under his blanket, flashlight in hand and read. Read of ordinary people with extraordinary powers and how they overcame every challenge they faced. Read of action and adventure and of the life he wished he had. But now things were different. Now he had lived in the world of superheroes and supervillains he would give anything to go back. He sat at his workshop desk Sipping a slushie and flipping through an old issue of Spiderman. Peter Parker had been a sort of role model to cisco when he was young, although he had a terrible past he never let it fester inside him and instead became an incredible inventor, with a good heart and a great sense of humour. But somehow now cisco had powers these comics seemed more unrealistic than ever. It wasn’t just the science behind them or even the fact that all the villains chose their own names but it was the way they all seemed to forget so easily. How at the beginning of each new arch their emotional scars would be healed and the death of their parents would seem to be the only thing that resonated with them. But that wasn’t the case for cisco. He could still remember everything so vividly. Ronnie being locked into the pipeline, the echoing shot of the gun that stopped Bette’s hearts, Iris’ painful screams as Eddie lay bleeding out on the floor, the list of people who were dead because of his inventions, the cracking of his ribs as the man he trusted stuck his hand through his chest and so much more pain that surely would be with him for a lifetime. But now not only did he have to add the image of someone he cared deeply about being stabbed through the heart as she cried his friends name but he also had to hold the knowledge that the person he loved more than anyone else would soon turn into the thing she feared the most. Caitlin snow was the last constant in Cisco’s life, she had been there with him through every hardship and every battle, she was his best friend, and she was…..so much more than that. And now thanks to her ‘superpowers’ he may lose her for good, he would lose a part of himself. Cisco scrunched up his nose and frowned down at the comic. There was nothing amazing about having powers. He crumpled the paper between his hands and threw it across the room, it bounced pathetically off the wall and landed on the ground. Cisco stared at it for a while letting himself ease out of reality. After a while he placed his hand over his face and sighed. Tears began to form in his eyes as he felt his mouth tremble. Why couldn’t he be stronger? Why couldn’t he be happy? Why did he have to make everything about him? He placed the half empty slushie cup on the table, he was no longer in the mood for a sugar rush. Then he heard a loud knocking on the door frame that lead to the corridor. Cisco threw his head up to the ceiling and took a deep breath before spinning around on his chair to face the doorway. Julian Albert stood staring at him with a rather forced smile. The atmosphere became a little uneasy. Julian chocked before muttering.

“Can I come in” He then paused. “Or am I interrupting something…..I can drop by later…or…”Cisco sat up straighter on his chair and scratched the back of his neck.

“No its fine.” he said bluntly. Julian shuffled in, evaluating his surroundings as he did so. They had never really spoken much before a few weeks ago. Cisco had taken prejudice towards him before they even met simply due to Barry’s description. The only time cisco had ever come to know anything about him from his own account was when they discovered he was Dr Alchemy. To begin with he was sceptical that he was being truthful despite what Barry had done to the timeline he still trusted his dislike towards Julian. But then Savitar got in his head. The weight of all the pain and suffering he had been through had toppled onto him all at once. He felt so much anger, so much hatred, he felt all sense of himself, of the people he love, slip away as savitar latched himself onto his conscience. He felt ready to abandon all happiness. He felt ready for…. After that moment cisco began to wonder how Julian could have that sensation on his shoulders for years and all the while thinking he was going mad. Julian now carried himself with less confidence than he did before. He stood next to the desk scratching an imaginary itch on his hand. A twinge of guilt washed over cisco for being so blunt. For thinking he still had any part of Savitar within him. He decided to lighten up the mood a tad. “So what brings you to my humble abode?” Julian half smiled.

“Ah well….It’s about you friend Caitlin snow.” Cisco’s ears pricked up and felt his heart rate grow faster. Did Julian know what path lay ahead of her? Had Caitlin already told him? Flashes of the headline and then of Iris death appeared in his mind. He shuffled on his chair a little.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He raised his head in concern.

“Well you see, she came to me yesterday expressing her concern about becoming…..” He chose not to use the term ‘killerfrost’. “Her. And because you’re the only other Non Csi Scientist I know I was wondering if….” Cisco cut his sentence short.

“If I'd help design something to prevent her powers from taking over.” Cisco was slightly surprised that the man Caitlin threatened to kill actually wanted to see her safe. He guessed that all the support she gave him after the alchemy situation showed him who she truly was. That was Caitlin, the real Caitlin, showing kindness not matter the odds.

“Precisely.” Julian replied in his harry potter esq British accent. The chair squeaked slightly as cisco rose from his place. He walked over to a nearby draw and Julian’s eyes followed him. A silver wire wrapped around his fingers as he held the small object in his hand. He chewed the inside of his mouth and smiled a little before he faced the other man. he clenched his fist slightly and raised the necklace in the air for Julian to plainly see.

“What is it?” Julian edged closer and squinted, he was slightly worried about touching it. Cisco admired his own work for a while before speaking.

“Well I’ve been working on it a while now. It’s a sort of improvement on the power dampening cuffs I made….considering those were only a prototype they actually did the job pretty good.” He lingered. “You, see Caitlin was complaining on how she had to recharge them and to be fair I had to alter her phones battery to last longer because she always came to work with it on 2% so I could tell it was a strenuous task for her.” Julian grasped the necklace in his hand and began expecting the glowing snowflake. Cisco peered over slightly. “It’s Solar powered. Which means that whenever cait steps out into the sun it’ll start charging. Which gives her an excuse not to lock herself away…” his heart became heavy at the thought. “And besides the cuffs weren’t the most comfortable things on earth. I could see they irritated her whilst she worked, they probably rubbed against her skin.” He paused yet again. “And I noticed she couldn’t wear that bracelet Ronnie gave to her anymore because the cuffs were too big. And I know how much it means to her.” He sighed at the thought of his dead friend and of how, for so many months, he sat next to Caitlin comforting her as she sobbed into her pillow and refused to sleep. And now came the sudden thought of history repeating itself but this time with Barry and Iris, how he would be devastated at the loss of a person who means so much to him yet he couldn’t let it show because he’d have to support the other who just lost their world.

“Who’s Ronnie?” Julian raised an eyebrow. Cisco was taken slightly aback by the fact that Caitlin hadn’t ever mentioned Ronnie to him. He remembered the light that would fill her eyes whenever his name was mentioned. He remembered knowing when they first met that they were soulmates and that she would love nobody else but him. But he guessed things change. He was glad she was trying to forget about her past. About everything she’s been through.

“He was her husband… He died saving central city.” Cisco didn’t look up in fear that the tears welling up in his eyes would begin to fall.

“Oh.” Julian whispered solemnly, he was clearly surprised about this new knowledge. The atmosphere became uneasy once more. The silence was long and deafening. Julian cross examined the necklace once more, he stared at the brilliant blue charm at the end of it. “Why the snowflake… I mean it’s pretty. But surely Caitlin wouldn’t want to be reminded of her powers every time she looks at it.”

“I know it’s ironic…” cisco laughed a little. “But trust me Caitlin will love it. The fact that the thing that could break her is also protecting her. She needs to stop seeing ice as a completely bad thing, she needs to see how beautiful snow can be….”he pictured her in his mind before coughing and quickly adding. “And if she ever wants a suit it’ll be a pretty sick logo.” Julian nodded indicating that he understood. Cisco looked at him, he seemed so tired. He could clearly see the decolouration that had formed under his eyes. He was nervous and agitated, still Frightened of becoming Alchemy but trying his best to hide it but Cisco could see right through him. It was clear that Julian was trying to make amends, that he was trying to do something good. That he was hoping he could create something for Caitlin and show he was a changed man. He looked disappointed that cisco had beaten him to it.

“Well as you’ve solved Caitlin’s problem, I guess I’ll be on my way.” He went to place the jewellery back into Cisco’s hand but it was pushed back into his palm.

“You should give it to Caitlin.” Cisco muttered and gave a reassuring smile.

“What? No I couldn’t possibly. I didn’t contribute towards it what so ever.” He looked almost offended at the thought.

“Believe me Julian it will mean more to her coming from you.” He dragged his hand slowly down his face and then rested it on his mouth. A confused expression appeared on the other man. Cisco bit his lip and continued. “Caitlin may trust me but she also trusts you, maybe it’s down to guilt, instinct or … something much more than that.” Cisco unintentionally frowned a little before quickly smiling again. “But it’s not enough just for cait to trust you. You need to show her that you trust her too and by giving her this…” he gestured towards the necklace. “You’re saying that her powers no longer scare you and you have faith in her. By presenting her the necklace you’re showing how committed you are in making her whole again.”

“But why me? I mean of course I care about her…..But why would Caitlin snow need to know I trust her? Why not just you or Allen or someone else? “Julian asked in a serious tone, it seemed like he was put off by the thought. Cisco set back down at his desk, why was Julian protesting so much?

“Because I’m not…what she needs right now…she believes you’re the same side of the coin. You’re both scared of what you may become.” Julian wanted to protest but he knew it was true. “You’re scared of the power you possess. Scared that the power will take over, control you, make you do things that you don’t want to do. You think you’ll hurt innocent people or those you love. That youll start to believe you’re invincible, you’re …you’re... A God. And you’ll lose all sense of good and morality and of yourself and that you’ll end up becoming the thing you hate most. “He stopped to breath. “Caitlin’s scared that shell become Killer Frost and I’m…”

“And I’m scared that I’ll become Dr Alchemy.” Julian interrupted With a solemn and understanding look. ‘And I’m Scared that will become reverb.’ Cisco finished in his own head. He choked back the tears and turned away slightly. He’d almost forgotten Julian was in the room. He had forgotten yet again that this wasn’t about him but about someone else. And he’d forgotten what it was like to tell someone about all his fears and anxieties. He always had to be the moral support, care for others first and make things a little lighter. The only time he had ever let loose any of his deepest thoughts was when Dante died and he found out that Barry caused it. And look how that turned out. Everyone seemed to turn on him, take Barry’s side because he was no longer the fun loving cisco they all could laugh at. They saw Barry’s guilt as more painful than losing someone you cared about deeply at the hand of a friend. They would rather turn a blind eye to his pain because it was expressed in anger. The people he used to cheer up, build inventions for, and risk his life trying to save would rather let him suffer than utter a kindness. That’s why he knew he had to keep this all in. Luckily Julian would conclude this speech was a prediction rather than a soul eating anxiety that burrowed deep inside of him. Julian wasn’t all clued up on others emotions.

“All I want is for Caitlin to be able to know someone has faith in her. Someone who knows what she’s been going through… All I want is for Caitlin to be happy.” Cisco whispered. “She needs to be happy.” For his sake. Julian looked at his feet and then back up.

“I…I understand… “Julian stuttered “But it’s clear you made this.” He was wrapping the necklace around his fingers. “I may be a csi but I’m no engineer.” Cisco shut his eyes for a few seconds, allowing himself to calm down.

“Well then we present it to her together. After I can say it was your idea…. Your design. That you suggested it should be solar powered” He grinned. “But you give it to her… tonight at the house warming. Buy her a nice box and make her feel special. I can stand by your side tell her we made it, but you have to be the one to physically give it to her. To show her that you’ll be by her side, that you trust her.” Julian still looked reluctant. “please.” He begged. Julian screwed up his mouth, he didn’t like being ordered about at the best of times especially when being told to take credit for something he didn’t do. But then he looked at cisco who’s eyes glistened with tears, he could tell that he cared about her deeply, If he really believed that this was for the best then…

“Ok, I will.” Carefully he placed the device in his pocket. Then he stood and stared for a while to make sure there was nothing left to say. Cisco ran his hand through his hair turned to his computer pretending he had to get back to work. “I’ll… see you late then.”

“Yeah seeya.” Cisco said cheerfully. Julian strode to the door patting his pocket just encase the necklace had somehow escaped from it. He made a sharp turn and his quite hum echoed from the hallway. Cisco was alone. The comic began to uncrumple and the image of the amazing Spiderman became visible once again.

\----------

The warm welcoming glow touched every corner of Barry and Iris’ flat as the celebration began to swing into motion. Many happy memories would take place in this apartment for years to come. From the plotted plants to the fluffed up cushions, to Barry’s new turtle friend, everything about it spelt home. Julian and Caitlin began to sip on the crisp wine that Barry had delivered straight from Sicily. Caitlin was already spouting about some new concept she discovered whilst testing a metas genes. Julian was listening intently and occasionally adding sound pieces of advice, He was the leading Meta expert after all. Cisco just stood by and laughed along with them, not particularly concentrating, not completely happy, but he laughed. Like he always did. Laughed at Caitlin’s terrible jokes and Julian’s reaction to them. He caught the turtle shift in its bowl through the corner of his eye, it was trying to eat some lettuce. Then he felt a sudden touch on his arm. He turned to see Julian raising his eyebrow towards him. Cisco snapped back and faced Caitlin. Her smile was still shining from the previous conversation. The tiny happy crinkles had appeared at her eyes which cisco hadn’t recalled seeing since her long drunken chat on the night zoom was defeated. Where she had muttered ‘I love you’ with a profound sincerity before curling up and resting her head on his lap as she fell into a deep sleep. She didn’t remember that night maybe it was because she was full of alcohol or because the timeline had changed. But cisco did. He remembered his heart skipping a beat as new sense of joy filled his heart. As if something had suddenly clicked inside his brain.

“Julian and I were talking about your battery problem with your cuffs.” He swished his wine lightly in his hand as he spoke “We decided we’d invest in an alternate accessory” Caitlin nodded slightly. Expecting nothing more than a new set of shackles. But when Julian produced the small leather box her smile faded and was replaced with a look of shock. The box was opened.

“Voila.” Julian beamed. The blue snowflake shone as if it was a star guiding a lost traveller to sanctuary. “Every time you go outside solar energy will recharge it” Caitlin’s eyes became brighter, the swirls of caramel and honey within them became clearer in the charms light. She stared at Julian as if she had seen a whole new part of him that had never been discovered. His smile grew wider as he began to feel her happiness radiate upon him. Cisco was right, it meant the world to her coming from Julian. Caitlin’s head tilted a little before her brow furrowed.

“Guys this means so much to me. Thank you” Her eyes switched from Julian to cisco before grasping the box in her hand.

“Of course.” Cisco whispered with a form of nervousness. Caitlin excitedly removed the necklace from its bed. They watched the chain twist in her delicate fingers. Cisco stared carefully in fear that something would go wrong. He had tested it on himself a thousand times yet he was still paranoid. Julian’s smile was a bright as ever yet Ciscos has dropped slightly in concentration. As Caitlin lifted her cinnamon curled hair cisco noticed how her porcelain skin contrasted with it so well. She fastened the clip as the corners of her lips began to curl into a smile, her deep eyes shone in the light. The necklace made her look more radiant, made her smile look ever more beautiful. Caitlin’s eyes lingered on Julian for a while as he starred into hers. Then she giggled and exclaimed ‘Ta da’. Cisco’s heart skipped a beat again. Her laugh always made him feel a little less damaged and now he knew it was genuine he could start to laugh a little more genuinely too. Caitlin was so much more than just his best friend. He felt it more than ever. He admired the way she would excitedly talk him through her research, the way she would bite her lip in concertation, the way she would lecture him on eating too much candy. He loved her more than anything in his life. He loved her. He didn’t know if the feeling had always been there.If it started during a night she sat and comforted him over Dante or when Hunter zolomon snatched her from their safety and it felt like he had taken part of him too or maybe he always felt it deep down. Yet as she stared at Julian he knew that she was starting to fall for someone else. But he wasn’t sad he was happy because she was happy. He was happy because Julian was happy. And he was happy because for this brief shining moment as HR made his speech everyone in the room seemed content. As Cisco raised his glass to Barry and Iris he began to think of the comic he read earlier. The Heroes in those stories scarcely talked about the pain in their past adventures well maybe it was for a reason. Maybe they still remembered it all but they didn’t want to admit it. Didn’t want to reach out, show their pain so they could protect the last reaming happiness of those they loved. Because in the end that’s what superheroes do. Sacrifice.


End file.
